Me in black ops zombies
by ninjastar142
Summary: This is where i am teleported into black ops zombies. Takeo is creepy, there, i said it.
1. The fight begins

Me in Black Ops Zombies

Kino Der Toten

**Me: Hi I'm Nathan!**

**Dempsy: Hi.**

**Me: Hi I'm Nathan**

**Dempsy: you just said that!**

**Me: hi I'm Nathan!**

**Dempsy: Stop saying that! **

**Me: Hi I'm Nathan!**

**(Dempsey explodes)**

**Nicolai: …**

**Richtolfkin: …**

**Creepy Chinese guy: …**

**Me: Hi I'm Nathan!**

**Nicolai: he's funny! I'm drunk.**

**Richtolfkin: Shut up.**

**Me: Hi I'm Nathan!**

**Creepy Chinese guy: You have no honor!**

**(Dempsey respawns)**

**Dempsy: is he still here?**

**Me: hi I'm Nathan!**

**(All but me explode)**

**Me: Hi I'm Nathan!**

**(All but me Respawn)**

**Me: Hi I'm Nathan!**

**Nicolai: I love this kid! He's Funny! I'm drunk.**

**(Zombie moan)**

**Dempsy: look kid, you're stuck in here with us, so here's a knife, an m1911, and some bullets. You see something move, shoot it. **

**(I shoot Dempsy in the leg)**

**Me: Hi I'm Nathan!**

**Dempsy: OOOOWWWWW! NOT ME! THE ZOMBIES IN THE WINDOW! **

**(Dempsy points at a window under a balcony.)**

**Me: Hi I'm Nathan!**

**All but Nicolai and me: ****WE GET IT ALREADY! YOU'RE NATHAN!**

**Nicolai: I love this kid!**

**(All but me run off to their respective windows)**

**Me: Hi I'm Nathan?**

**Dempsy: ****GGOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**Me: okay, okay. You don't have to yell. (Knifes zombie)**

**Richtolfkin: THE BEAST SPEAKS!**

**Nicolai: but, but, IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE! I'm still drunk.**

**Creepy Chinese guy: IM BEING CREEPY!**

**Dempsy(to dumbstruck to speak): …**

**4 rounds later, power is on, top route is open; half of bottom route is open.**

**Dempsy (Sees never broken window with millions of zombies on the inside): Hey, this kids pretty good at zombie survival!**

**Nicolai: SHUT UP! I have a hangover.**

**Richtolfkin: We need to get you some vodka.**

**Creepy Chinese guy: You are most dishonorable without it.**

**Nicolai: ****SHUT UP!**

**(I wordlessly hand Nicolai a bottle of vodka)**

**Nicolai: I really like this kid!**

**Richtolfkin: Where did you get this? You are only a child!**

**Me: One of the zombies had it. And don't call me a child.**

**Nicolai: Hey! This is half empty:**

**(All look at me)**

**Me: What? I was thirsty!**

**Richtolfkin: You are a CHILD!**

**Me: Don't call me a child!**

**Richtolfkin: CHILD**

**Me: stop it.**

**Richtolfkin: CHILD!**

**Me: Stop it!**

**Richtolfkin: CHILD!**

**Me: STOP IT!**

**Richtolfkin: CHILD!**

**Me: STOP!**

**Richtolfkin: CHILD!**

**(I go buy Olympia and start chasing richtolfkin laughing like a maniac and screaming like a banshee)**

**Me: MWAHWAMAHWAMHWMAWMHAWHAHWAAM WAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEAAAAAA EEEEEEEEEMAHWAMWHMAHWHWHMWHM WHM!**

**Richtolfkin: omgomgomgogmomgOMGOMOGMOGMOG MOMGOOMGOMGOMGOGO MGOGMOMGIMGAYOMGOMGOGMGOMGOG MGOMGOGMOGMGOMGOGMGOMGOGMOGG OMGGMGMOMG!**

**(I catch richtolfkin in the juggernaut corner)**

**Me: NOWYOUDIE!**

**Richtolfkin: ONONONONONONONONONONONONONON ONONONONOONO-{BLAM}**

**Me(shooting Rictolfkins dead body): DIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIEDIED IEDIEDIEDIEDIE!**

**(I get downed by the last zombie)**

**Me: SOMEONE HEAL ME!**

**All but me and richtolfkin: Uuuuuhhhhhh no.**

**Me: DO YOU WANT TO END UP LIKE RICHTOLFKIN!**

**(Richtolfkin respawns)**

**Rictolfkin(sees me down): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAA HAHAHHAH!**

**All: bad idea.**

**Richtolfkin: why? He doesn't have his Olympia! And his pistol is out of ammo!**

**Dempsy: ****dhkshfukiiahegfijugpeifjf0es ojgprskfawijguejgirsga****bwahahahahaBAWBHWHABWH ABWHBAHWBAWHBAHWBAHWBHWBAHWB AHBHAWHAHBAHBAHWBHAWHHBAWHAH BAHWBHAWBHW!**

**Richtolfkin: What?**

**Nicolai: Turn around.**

**Richtolfkin(turns around): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !**

**(Is knifed by me)**

**Me: okay, now that that's done, Dempsy, shut up. Nicolai, heal me. Rictolfkin, (richtolfkin respawns) find creepy Chinese guy. Whom I now dub ccg.**

**Ccg: No ammo, no honor. Weak knife, no honor. NO MONEY NO HONER! WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME AND KILL THIS ZOMBIE?!**

**Me: hello ccg. Would you like a gun?**

**Ccg: um, yes please!**

**Me (buys stakeout): here you go.**

**Ccg: you have much honor. (Turns to zombie) And you have NO-(is bit by zombie)**

**Me: you had to use a catchphrase. **

**(I kill zombie and revive ccg)**

**Ccg: you have much-**

**Me: yeah yeah, I know. Here's 10,000 dollars, go buy a shotgun, and give me mine.**

**Creepy girl voice:**** FETCH ME THEIR SOULS!**

**Me: oh joy. Dogs.**

**Richtolfkin: should we turn on the teleporter?**

**Me: no, we should just stay here. ****OF COURSE WE SHOULD TURN ON THE FREAKING TELEPORTER!**

**Dempsy: Wait, wheres Ccg?**

**Richtolfkin: I think he said something about acid on the balcony.**

**Dempsy: Oh shit.**

**(All run to balcony where they find Ccg)**

**Ccg: I see fucking pretty fucking rainbow fucking unicorns, with fucking neon fucking purple fucking butterflies coming the fuck out of their fucking asses and fucking orange fucking monkeys that are fucking fucking fucking everyones fucking asses! Fuck!**

**Dempsy: I love the English language! You can use the word "Fucking" almost wherever you want! **

**Richtolfkin: Do you ever wonder why we always speak English? I understand with you, but im german, Nicolai is Russian, and Takeyo is chineese.**

**(I slap Richtolfkin)**

**Richtolfkin: what was that for?!**

**Me: His name is Ccg!**

**Richtolfkin: oh yea, sorry.**

**Ccg: PRETTY FUCKING UNICORNS!**

**Richtolfkin: what should we do about him?**

**(zombie walks in, I shoot Ccg with law and kill him and zombie)**

**[authoror update: Okay, here are the weapons as they are: I have the china lake, law, thundergun, and wunderwaffle. Nicolai has the ray gun and the hk21. Dempsy has the hk21 and rpk. Richtolfkin has the ray gun and thunder gun. Ccg has the dracovitch and m1911.]**


	2. Lets see what happens

_**Okay, I'm just going to jump in where I left off. Also, I'm trying a new writing style, tell me what you think.**_

**DISCLAMER: If I owned black ops, Richtolfkin and Takeo would have died a looooong time ago. If I owned MIB, the dog would be in charge.**

Richtolfkin: WHY DID YOU DO THAT!

Me: I don't know. The author told me to.

(A person that looks exactly like the character 'me' in the story appears who I will call the author)

Author: *slaps me*

Me: Hey man what the hell?

Author: You are supposet to pretend you are unaware of the situation!

Me: *shoots at author*

Author: *teleports to behind me*

Other 4: *stares with dropped jaws8

Author's voice: _we need to make you forget!_

(A zombie form of will smith appears in a black suit with black glasses and tosses me a pair)

Will smith: Look this way please. *pulls out flash thing from MIB and flashes Ccg, Richtolfkin, Dempsy, and Nicolai, who is to drunk for it to take effect*

(Will smith vanishes)

Dempsy: Ccg is dead.

Richtolfkin: NO SHEIT!

Nicolai: Where did the author and will smith go?

Me: *puts finger to lips and goes into the theater with Nicolai*

Dempsy: Well, lets go.

Richtolfkin: *Point's ray gun at Dempsey's head*

Dempsy: Um, Richie? Buddy? It's me! Dempsy!

Richie (**lol)**: Don't. Move!

Dempsy (worriedly): Um, Richie?

Richtolfkin: *shoots ray gun*

Dempsy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHwait, I'm still alive? *a zombie falls on his shoulder. Dempsy slowly turns his head to look. {Insert girly screams}

Richtolfkin: *drags a still screaming Dempsy into the lobby and to the stage.

Me and Nicolai: *standing in teleporter* SO LONG MUTHER FUCKERS! *teleport activate!*

Richtolfkin and Dempsy: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAAAAAAAT! *they move to run around the turret where I promptly blow them up*

Nicolai: Ha-ha! Funny!

Me: *hands Nicolai my china lake* keep it.

Nicolai: BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! *blows EVERYTHING up*

(The usual laser things appear and we teleport, him to the regular girls room, me to the evil one)

Nicolai: OOOOH! Board game! *starts playing it with Samantha's ghostly form*

Me: Sweet. Monkey. *takes monkey from pillow* (**ever wonder why they don't do that? SECRET REVEALED!**) *suddenly, the room is swarming with zombies and I've turned into a monkey.*

Me: SHITSHITSHIT! *it comes out* Lets play! *time starts to run out and I explode* I hope we meet again! *as soon as I explode, I awake to Nicolai standing over me and I'm in a fetal position*

Nicolai: Nathan? Naaaaaathan? NATHAN!

Me: You know my name!

Nicolai: You needed help. I was nice. Kid.

Me: Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck *kills a whole bunch of zombies*

(Round ends)

Dempsy and Richtolfkin: *respawn*

Me: Wait, where's Ccg?

Samantha: The punishment for doing drugs is a five round penalty!

All: shit.

Me: *goes to buy box* FUCK ME!

Dempsy: What?

Me: I got the L96A1!

Dempsy: …How the hell do you know all of these gun names?

Me: I dunno. *buys box again* YESSSSSSSSS!

Dempsy: What now?

Me: Got the commandooo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o! *starts shooting zombies*

Richtolfkin: How does a kid know how to use all these weapons?

Me: Only niki can call me kid.

Richtolfkin and Dempsy: Niki?

Nicolai: Yep! And I call him kid or Nate!

Me: *sneaks up on Richtolfkin* bingo!

Richtolfkin: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

Me: I brought you something! *hands him a bottle of juggernaut*

Richtolfkin: *glares at the drink as if waiting for it to do something.*

Me: Oh for the love of! *I open it and take a sip and hand it back to him*

Richtolfkin: Takes it and drinks it quickly.

Me: Hmmmm, I haven't shot this LAW yet. Dempsy, which ends the dangerous one? *I point the wrong end of it at the ground and blow us all up except Richtolfkin who buys quick revive and heals us all.*

_**The thing with the law was something I just added in, I don't really have it anymore, I traded it for the L96A1 and the china lake I traded for the COMMANDO. I need your help readers! I need ideas to get them to round 10, after that, I have an amazing idea, every ten rounds something epic will happen and each chapter will cover five rounds. I need something to cover rounds 7-10 please! Thank you! Also, quick poll: Which do you like better, the draganov or the L96A1? I put up the poll along with another. R&R. Want a character on the show? Just tell me your favorite person and gun combination from black ops zombies! And a short bio. That's all you've got to do! **_


	3. Thanksgiving special

**Thanksgiving Special!**

_**I know it's a bit late, but I wanted to get the new story chapter up before this one!**_

[round six]

Samantha: I've got a surprise for you all! For thanksgiving, you have to kill TURKEY ZOMBIES! And just one catch, they can fly! Alright, have fun with that!

Me: Turkeys? What the hell is the author smoking?

Author: *appears looking high* De weeds great this time o' year! *with a Scottish accent and disappears*

[cue will smith zombie scene]

Will smith: Here boy, I have a movie to make. *gives me a flasher thingy*

Me: YAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! *flashes all but me and Nicolai who is no longer drunk*

Nicolai: Lemmie see that! *grabs it from me and aims it at bempsy. Presses the button, was holding it the wrong way* What the fuck?

Me: *trades vodka for flashy thingie*

Dempsy: *Is pecked by turkey zombie* Oh, right. *Blasts turkey zombies head off*

Richtolfkin: The precious food! What have you don Samantha! Didn't I teach you not to play with your food?

Samantha: So, should I eat you then? Or do you still want to play?

Richtolfkin: No no, ill play! *starts shooting turkeys*

Takeo: *respawns* what the hell?

Samantha: You are here for the thanksgiving special!

Takeo: Woo-hoo!

Samantha: Next time, the punishment WILL be fulfilled!

Me and Dempsy: To the teleporter everyone! *we all scurry off and teleport*

Richtolfkin and Nicolai go and shoot out the window while me and Dempsy finish pack-a-punching. Takeo chucks grenades.

Richtolfkin: This is getting fowl! *he then screams as about twenty zombie turkeys fle into the room, Takeo drops many grenades and kills them all, also downing himself.*

Me and Dempsy: Outta the way! Heavy MG's comin through! *we set up our rpk and hk21s for us all to shoot at the flying swarm*

Dempsy: How the hell are we doing this?

Me: WE ARE FUCKING EPIC! THAT'S HOW!

Dempsy: Of course! *starts nailing turkeys again*

[the round ends just as we start to teleport back, none of us goes to a room, we all just go back to the lobby.]

Samantha: that was fun! Lets do it again!

We all run into the juggernaut corner, lining up and moving to the back when we have to reload for the next four rounds.

Samantha: fine, if you wont do anything different, its back to regular zombies!

Zombies start falling from the sky.

Me, Nicolai, and Takeo: *grabbing some turkey carcases and making noms while running*

Richtolfkin: Dempsy! Go Initiate the link to the teleporter! Ill wait at the pad!

Dempsy: Okay!

Richtolfkin: The rest of you follow him!

Me: *follows Richtolfkin*

Richtolfkin: What are you-aww damn it! I cant tell you what to do, I don't want to die again! *leads the way to the pad. As soon as its linked we all meet in the teleporter*

Takeo: Ready my friends

Me: FUCKFUCKFUCK! TO CROWDED PUSH THE BUTTON! PUSH THE DAMNED BUTTON!

Dempsy: *pushes the button and we all start to teleport, but somethings different this time*

Everyone: *Stands up and looks around*

Dempsy: Where are we?

Me: It appears to be a dome shaped room with the sky and clouds on the ceiling that are moving and all the furniture here is an ornate mirror. Wait, don't tell me…

[an image appears in the mirror]

The image: Hey, whassup? Whass-wait, who are you and how did you get in here?

Me: Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! Lord death! This must be the DWMA! FRAKIN SHWEET!

Dempsy: I repeat: Where, are we?

Lord death: You are in-

Me: May i? PLEASE!

Lord death: Well, you seem to know a lot, so yes, yes you may. Ill call the main group together.

Me: We are in a japaneese anime! Its called soul eater and this is the school called death weapon mister academy or dwma, that was lord death who founded the school. He is the grim reaper!

Dempsy: The-

Me: hold all questions till the end! Anyway, most of the citizens here are human, but there are also weapons that can make themselves look like humans and their goal is to eliminate all evil in the world! Or at least keep them from becoming the ultimate evil!

Richtolfkin: Samantha? Zombies?

Me: No, but they may be. What we were looking for is KISHN! People and weapons become kishin by eating human souls, but if you eat as human soul, you loose your humanity! There are also witches but youll find out about them later.

A familer voice from behind me: Congradfulations. You pretty much just summed it up.

Me: *GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAA*

Dempsy: What the fuck?

Me: *AAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS*

Richtolfkin: You okay chi-I mean Nathan?

Me: *SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPP*

Takeo: *pokes me*

Me: *PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!* STIIIIIIIIIEEEEEENNNNN! *Runs over and hugs stein* Will you experiment on me?

Stien: Lord death has forbid me to dissect humans.

Blackstar: *on top of the mirror* Who the fuck are you? Can I assassinate you? I am so much bigger than you after all!

Tsubaki: And you've already failed.

Me: *pointing* that's blackstar, the worlds worst assassin. And tsubaki, a weapon. A darkarm to be precise. She has several forms.

Blackstar: You seem to know a lot about us, but since I don't know you, ill overlook your comment if you can tell me this. What are tsubakis forms?

Me: Chain scythe, ninja blade, shiruken, smoke bomb, and enchanted sword!

Blackstar and tsubaki: *their mouths hang open*

Kid: Father, who are these two?

Me: That's death the kid, lord deaths son! Those two girls are liz and patty, the thompsan sisters! Their weapon forms are dual pistols!

Maka: How the hell do you know all this?

Me: That's maka! She hates her father.

Spirit, er, death scythe: MAKAAAAAAAAAAAAA! PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!

Maka: Speak of the devil.

Me: that's her father, he is a death scythe, he accomplished the mission to get 99 kisin egg souls and one witch soul. That's how you become a death scythe. But we cant because we are humans! His real name is spirit!

Soul: Dude, how do you know this?

Me: That's soul! He is the coolest of the group!

Soul: Well at least someone appreciates me.

Sid: Oh boy.

Me: That's sid. Hes a zombie.

Richtolfkin: ZOMBIE! *starts shooting at sid*

Me: No, no, a GOOD zombie!

Sid: What the hell?

Dempsy: Well kid, you seem to know them all.

Kid: Hmm? No I don't.

Me: Everyone calls him kid. He is my idol! Kid! Look at me! Are I not perfectly symmetrical?

Kid: Damn, I thought I was the only one who cared about that kind of stuff.

Liz: Great, another one!

Me: YAYS!

Dempsy: Okaaay, anyway, I meant him *Points to me*

Me: Anyway, knowing our usual luck, soon the school will be attacked by nazi zombies.

Smantha: *she does her evil laugh* I see your enjoying my surprise! Well, theres many more to come! Have fun!

Lord Death: Huh?

Maka: I cant pinpoint her soul!

Soul: Don't hurt yourself.

Stein: Me neither.

Blackstar: Tsubaki, I have a feeling we all will need our weapons!

Tsubaki: *nods and transforms*

Kid: Liz, patty, weapons.

Liz: Of course. *transforms*

Patty: KAAAAAAAAAAAY! *transforms*

Me: he is obsessed with symitry

Sid: Why did you come here?

Richtolfkn: Its not our choice! Samantha controls where we go and the zombies!

Spirit: Lord death? What of me?

Lord death: you fight with stein.

Stien: Well, here we go again spirit.

Dempsy: No matter where we go, the zombies always find us!

Takeo: Not sure if honor or not…

Nicolai: do you have vodka here?

Me: He sucks at this without it.

Lord death: *gives vodka* and more where that came from! Bye-ya!

All: *run outside to see a HUGE hoard approaching the school*

_**Let the crossovers begin! Every ten rounds will be a teleporter 'accedent' that sends them to a new book, tv show, or movie dimension! First up was soul eater! Next chapter, the group fights their way to round 15!**_


	4. Chapter 4

**Me in black ops zombies **

_Now with soul eater characters!_

**In case you haven't already guessed it, the character based off of and named 'me' has godly powers. I try, however, not to absolutely abuse them, as I imagine they are controlled by Samantha and partially blocked, but some of them she cant block or she would. That's why theres a wunderwaffle in kino. Or was. And how I have four guns and limitless money. Also, I am sorry about calling Takeo creepy Chinese guy, I really thought he was Chinese. His new name is cjg. Or, creepy Japanese guy. Anyway, on with the story.**

Me: What round is it?

Dempsy: I think 10.

Me: I wonder what the 'dog' rounds will be here?

Nicolai (hopefully): Vodka?

Me: No, I doubt it.

Nicolai: Awww, damn.

Maka: Wow, those are some weird-ass zombies.

Me: From where we come from, sids a weird zombie. Zombies are brainless, flesh-eating meatbags.

Sid: what's with all the predjudice?

Me: America is weird.

Dempsy: True. But were free.

Me: Whatever. Lets kill some zombies now!

Cjg: I feel so at home!

Sid: You from japan?

Cjc: Yes, yes I am.

Sid: Well, this isn't japan. Its only based of of-SHIT! *is attacked by zombie who he immidiatly shoves his knife **{forgot her name XD} **into its head.* These are NOT from this… dimension.

Maka: *slicing zombies left and right*

Blackstar: *throwing tsubakis blades through zombies*

Sid: *not doing quite as much since only having a knife*

Kid: *pretty much standing in one place since if wavelength bullets cut through humans they just slice through zombies* hey, this will be easy.

Liz: yep.

Patty: Kaaaaay!

Liz, Patty, and kid: Lets go soul resonance! *they start glowing and transforming*

Liz: Achieved! Noise at .04%. Firing in three...

Patty: Two...

Liz: One...

Patty: FIRING!

Kid, liz, and patty: *two huge balls of light fly at the zombies, anailating them all.

Nicolai, Dempsy, cjg, and Richtolfkin: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa? *mouths hang agape*

Me: *jumping up and down like a fan girl* OHMYGODTHATWASSOEPIC!

Kid, liz, and patty: *return to normal*

Dempsy: Hooooooowwwww?

Me: Soul resonance Dempsy. Soul resonance.

Samantha: Time for a special round! *a witch spawns in front of us*

Me: That's about what I expected. And by round 20, your weapons should all be death scythes! If theres enough witches!

Dempsy: Who's that?

Kid: A witch. Her names medusa. **{I haven't seen the show past part threeor read after book three so I don't know if she died or not. Either way, it's a sort of parallel universe so it doesn't matter. Also, please no spoilers}**

Medusa: Huh? How the hell'd I get here?

All: DIE! *starts attacking medusa*

Me: *holds back the four black ops people* let them handle this.

Dempsy: Okaaaaay...

The soul eater gang: *oblitherates the witch in a matter of seconds*

Me: Hey kid, seal the souls in a bag or something so you can split them up later!

Kid: I love the way you think. *and does just that*

-{two rounds later}-

Me: Nicolai? *pokes Nicolai*

Nicolai: What...was...in...that...vodka?

Cjg: Japanese liquor! Not the same as Russian!

Nicolai: *blacks out and vanishes*

Soul: What the hell just happened to him?

Me: He died. He'll be back at the beginning of next round. And that reminds me. *Produces 7 of each perk cola from nowhere* drink these. They'll help you.

Blackstar: What are they?

Me: *points to each bottle in turn* Speed cola: No idea how that will affect you. Maybe quicker resonance rate. Double tap: Speed up your attacks. Quick revive: Makes you revive people quicker. Juggernaut: Makes you unbelievably more resistant to hits. Stamina up: Just that. Phd flopper, you don't die if a grenade explodes next to your freakin head and if you fall from a long distance a nuclear blast erupts from you.

Blackstar: AWSOME!

All: *drinks the perk colas*

Soul: POWER! I CAN FEEL INCREDIBLE POWER! *burps* nope. Still there.

Maka: Holy shit that's awesome.

Kid: I don't feel any different...Maybe its because I'm a reaper.

Me: From where we are from, you _should_ be able to destroy all the zombies at once!

Kid: Maybe, but I have no idea what to do!

Patty: OHMYGOSH!THOSEWERESOCOOL!STAMINA-UPWASMYFAVORITE!

Liz: That was a bad idea...

Kid: closes his eyes and focuses on the zombies souls, oblitherating every last zombie and drawing all the souls to them.

Samantha: Fuck you! How did you figure that out? Oh well, witch time!

Me: now guys, tell us if you need help! *frog witch appears*

Frog-witch: No where did medusa go? And how am I here?

Me: Oh my god! Don't kill her yet! Please don't kill her yet! *runs to frog-witch and hugs her* OHMYGOSH!YOURMYFAVORITEWITCH!YOURTHEFREAKINGCUTEST!IWISHWEDIDNTHAVETOKILLYOU!

Frog-witch: Eep! *turns into frog*

Samantha: No you don't!

Kid: *Kills frog* too easy.

*witch soul appears*

Samantha: Time for the last test! *the grand witch appears*

Maka: Who the hell? SOUL! Scythe mode!

Blackstar: I don't know you... TSUBAKI! Ninja blade mode!

Kid: No! No! God no! Please no! Not the grand witch!

Maka, sol, tsubaki, even blackstar: *pales*

Stein: Alright kiddies, time to move.

Death: Whassup guys? Stein, I got this! *grabs spirit and attacks the grand witch* Uh, kiddo? Could use some help!

Kid: Um, okay... Soul resonance!

Kid liz and patty: *Hell, you know what happens*

Lord death: Huh? Nonononono! I'm in the blast- *BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*

Kid: Oops. Sorry dad. *smoke clears, all that's left is an unconscious spirit, lord death, and a witch soul.*

Lord death: That's yours kiddo!

Kid, maka, and blackstar: *divvy up the souls*

Kid: Unbeleivable! There's exactly 396 kishin egg souls here! And Three witch souls!We are one soul short of all our weapons becoming death scythes!

Lord death: Actually, the grand witches soul can be split into two! Eat up all you weapons!

Tsubaki, soul, liz, and patty: *eat all their kishin egg souls*

Soul: Lets do this together! Witch souls down the hatch!

Tsubaki, soul, liz, and patty: *eats the witch souls, all transform*

Liz and patty: *become mini shotguns*

Soul: *becomes sort of a copy of spirit*

Tsubaki: *doesn't change much*

Blackstar: Well, you were already pretty freakin epic.

Me, kid, maka, and blackstar: *teleported to a black void. Standing in front of us is Samantha*

Samantha: Alright Nathan! One realms done! Time for the next! You may take ONE team to the next round!

Maka: Whos this? And why cant I see her soul?

Me: This is Samantha. The girl that controls the zombies and brought us to your realm. Aparently, I can take one weapon and meister group to the next realm.

Samantha: Exactly!

Blackstar: Hell no! Not me! I don't wanna leave my realm!

Maka: I'm sort of with him!

Kid: I want to go. I like killing asymmetrical shit, and the zombies just set me off!

Me: Perfect. Your who I would have picked.

Samantha: Alrighty then! Your weapons still have their human forms available, but soul resonance will no longer be available for use!

Kid: Wait, wh-*we are teleported back*-at?

Stein: oh, your back. Good. Where'd you go?

Me: *explains everything*

Lord death: Well, will he come back?

Samantha: yes.

Me: For once, I actually trust her.

Liz: Hey, did it ever occur to you to ask me what I thought of this idea?

Samantha: Doesn't matter! Say goodbye now!*after about ten minutes, we were teleported to the middle of a group of six kids ranging from seven to fifteen, fighting full grown human-wolf things. And a dog. That talked. Also, they all had wings.*

Me: Attack the erasers!

Kid, liz, patty, Dempsy, Richtolfkin, Nicolai, and cjg: *give me blank stares*

Me: The werewolves!

**Wow, long one. Anyway, I'm dropping the realm switches to every fifth round. Anyway, SURPRISE! Lets see who can guess where we are now! Here's your hint: James Patterson and a , next up, we fight with the flock! Oops! Another hint!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys, sorry I haven't updated in a while. Last week was **_**hell **_**for me and I have had little motivation lately. But I won't bore you with the details. So enjoy! And the new realm is Maximum ride! Guest, if you had an account, I would have let you have a character appearance! Also, quick poll, should liz and patty still be able to switch between weapon and human form?**

**Disclaimer: I am not Japanese, james Patterson, or gearbox. Unfortanatly.**

Max: Who the hell are you? Never mind, just fight. Then we decide if you die.

Me: That's max for you! Oh, and our guns are gone. Nicolai, can you fight hand to hand drunk?

Nicolai: Does a chickin have lips?

Me: Uhh, no.

Nicolai: Wait, wait, I got this! Are whales fish?

Me: No.

Nicolai: Ummm, bear shit in ocean?

Me: Again, no.

Richtolfkin: Just fight! The vwerevolf men are tuning into zombies!

Max: Uh, that's weird... Flock! Zombie erasers! What do we do now?

Iggy and gazzy: BLOW EM UP!

Fang: Up and away. Zombified wings wont hold a whole damn eraser.

Max: Good point. Up and away flock!

Angel: But what about the nice new people?

Me: *Wordlessly extends a long black wing, much like fangs*

Max: Great, let's go.

Me: They don't know how to use theirs yet.

Richtolfkin: Wha? How? We don't have those!

Me: *quickly runs around behind him and forces a dirty looking wing* Angel! Help me out here. Use your mind powers to quick teach them.

Angel: *nodded and did so.*

Kid: Hurry up their gaining and liz and patty are not as strong as I remember!

Max: What about... him? *points at kid*

Me: Oh, I guess you should meet them. *I run through names* and kid, skateboard thing still work?

Kid: *holds one hand out and a skateboard appears*yep.

Me: Good. Lets go guys!

Fang and iggy: Nice.

Gazzy: Woah! How do you do that kid?

Kid: It's simple, I just... wait, how do I do it?

Me: No time! Lets go!

*All start flying off*

Nicolai: *almost runs into, well, everyone.*

Me: Everyone give Nicolai about ten feet of clearance.

Nicolai: I never thought this would be so fun! I'm still drunk!

Dempsy: This is just to fucking weird...

Richtolfkin: Must...not...cut...off...wings...and...expiriment...on...them!

Cjc: What the fuck? This is very honorable! Why would you want to remove your wings!

Me: Its in his blood.

Iggy: Alright gazzy! Three...

Max: Wait, what?

Gazzy: Two...

Fang: Um, fly faster everyone!

Iggy: One...

Me: Oh boy oh boy ohboyohboyohboyohboy!

Gazzy: Boom-boom!

*Huge fucking explosion*

Samantha: Wait, woah, what the hell? You just completed three fucking rounds! How the hell?

Richtolfkin: Samantha, dear, this isn't FUNNY!

Me: We have to kill the zombies! After two more rounds, we and the zombies will be gone!

Max: Fang? What do you think?

Fang: I think, we should fight!

*swords appear in everyones hands*

Nudge: Wait, how? Ohmygosh! This is a samurai sword! Theese are so cool and strong! Well, you have to be careful not to hit any rocks or anything... Say, speaking of rock, what bands are popular where you com fro-mmph! *Max stuffs sock in her mouth*

Me: Thank you, that's about my nudge jabber limit.

*all land and start fighting*

Me: Hmmm, I wonder what hellhounds are in this? *cuts a zombies head off and splatters the blood on nudge*

Nudge: Hey! What the hell? All over my favorite outfit!

Max: And your only outfit.

Nudge: Well, if I had others, this would be my favorite.

Max: For about a week.

Me: Less talky, more fighty!

Samantha: Final round!

*suddenly a giant robot with a big orange eye-thing appears*

Me: Wait, are you GlaDOS?

Glados: Great. Humans.

Me: Yep, that's glados.*all readies swords*

Me: Nope, I've got this. *I walk up to glados*

Glados: And what do you think you could do?

Me: The next sentence I say will be true. The last sentence I said was false.

Glados: Wait, what? No, that makes no sense! I defys logic! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHH! *explodes*

Me: *pulls out staples easy button and presses it*

Button: That was easy!

*I am teleported along with max, fang, and iggy to samanthas dark room*

Samantha: Its time to change it up a little! Yourchosen character won't be available until the final mega round!

Max: Where the hell are we

Me: In order for us and the zombies to leave, I have to choose one of you three to join us in the fight. But you wont go to the next realm with us yet!

Max: Hell no! I'm not letting any of my floack go with you!

Fang: Hell if I want to.

Iggy: For some reason I can see, and I think it has to do with you all... I'll go!

Fang and max: WHAT!?

Samantha: the decision is made!

Max: Wait! No! *we are teleported back*

Me: Theres nothing you can do. She has god-like powers so she gets her way. Wait, where's kid?

Dempsy: He disappeared just as you left!

Me: We will see him again. I'm sure of it!*me, Nicolai, Dempsy, Richtolfkin, and cjg are engulfed in blue electricity* Oh come on! We don't even get to say goodbye? *we appear in a forest next to a dude in a green tunic with a blue fairy and grey imp with orange hair that looks strangely like a hand*

Dempsy: Where are we now?

Me: A game realm? That's unexpected...

**That's the chapter! If you have an account and can name the realm and all the characters, you may get a character in the story! First comment gets it!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Me in black ops zombies**

**Guess what everyone! I'm not dead! Yet, anyway. I apologize again for the long wait, but I don't really write anything with this style anymore, and I'm afraid if I try to change it, it will loose most of its humor. ON WITH THE STORY!**

Little blue fairy thing: Hey! Look Listen!

Creepy imp with orange hand-hair: Oh GOD navi! SHUT THE HELL UP!

Green outfitted elf (that looks like robin hood): HYAAAAT!

Me: Short introduction, Navi, most annoying fairy on the planet. Link, super epic hero that's saved hyrule from definite destruction on multiple occasions but always seems to forget about it and loose all his things at the start of each adventure. Midna, all powerful imp that is also princess of the twilight realm.

Navi: HEY!

Nicolai: Already don't like fairy-thing. I kill it now?

Midna: Sure. Help yourself.

Nicolai: (begins shooting navi full of holes)

Me: Yay! He wicked fairy of the forest is dead!

Link: hup.

Dempsy: Does he have some sort of mental problem?

Me: No, Nintendo just never made him talk.

Richtolfkin: So, what have my pretty little creations infected this time?

Midna: Oh, you mean the zombies? All kinds of shit. Of course, everythings alive in this godess-damned land.

Cjc: Or, at least, undead.

Me: HE LIVES!

Richtolfkin: (shoots cjc in the head)

Me: Or not.

Dempsy: What did you do that for?

Richtolfkin: Cause I felt like it.

Midna: Don't let me get on your bad side.

Richtolfkin: Oh no, I liked this guy.

Midna: Now, what the hell kind of contraptions are those?

Me: They're called guns. Very effective against zombies.

Midna: Got any extras?

Me: See those chalk outlines? Just go up to one and you can buy one with points. Gain points by killing zombies.

Midna: Okay.

Link: hyaap?

Autor: (appears) Link, I'm sorry. But the votes are back, and because you have such a...limited vocabulary, you are no longer allowed to speak. (vanishes)

Link: (hangs his head)

Midna: Yay! The two most annoying things in my life are gone!

Link: (opens his mouth but no sound comes out.)

Me: ZOMBIES! KILL THEM ALL! Um, AGAIN!

Nicolai: I like funny imp thing.

Midna: Shaddup and kill some zombitches. (completely pwns with her hand-hair)

Dempsy: Damn, girl! Who does your hair?

Link: (wordlessly tries to figure out how to work the Olympia and shoots himself in the face)

Me: Screw him. He's pretty damn useless anyway.

Samanth: BOSS TIME!

Me: Ooh! I wonder who it is! Wait, where'd cjc go?

Richtolfkin: I shot him, remember?

Me: Oh yeah.

Nicolai: What is giant ogre thing?

Midna: That would be gannondorf. He's a fucking bigass powerful god-demon-thing.

Me: Yep. And this, is my BASS CANNON! (shoots gannondorf with powerpunched thundergun)

Gannondorf: I didn't even get to meet my damn opponents!

Me: Oops. Sorry.

Gannondorf: (disintegrates)

Me: Well, that was easy. Samantha, lemmie save you some time. I'll take the only living one. Midna.

Samantha: That was your only option anyway.

Nicolai: See you all soon!

(Portal sucks us in and spits us out)

Me: Where are we now?

**Really, where are they now? I need help! I need some idea of where to send them next! Sorry for the short chapter, but I'm not as into this story as much as I am some others I'm writhing. See you all sometime soon.**


End file.
